Dance of the Reptiles: Rampaging Tourists, Marauding Pythons, Larcenous Legislators, Crazed Celebrities, and Tar-Balled Beaches: Selected Columns

By Carl Hiaasen, Diane Stevenson

In case you imagine the wildest, wackiest tales that Carl Hiaasen can inform have all made it into his hilarious, bestselling novels, re-evaluate. Dance of the Reptiles collects the easiest of Hiaasen's Miami Herald columns, which lay naked the stories—large and small—that exhibit anew that fact is way stranger than fiction.

Hiaasen bargains his commentary—indignant, disbelieving, occasionally righteously indignant, and regularly hilarious—on burning matters like animal welfare, polluted rivers, and the damaged legal justice procedure in addition to the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, Bernie Madoff's trial, and the shenanigans of the new presidential elections. even if you might have learn Carl Hiaasen sooner than, you're in for a wild experience.

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The FWS stated that an annual mortality of 2 hundred to three hundred men is appropriate (to all, possibly, other than the doomed manatees). in the meantime, country natural world officers even have agreed to reconsider the species’ designation as endangered. The irony is, there wouldn’t be any sea cows left to argue approximately in the event that they hadn’t been secure for the final 3 a long time. No less significant than the legislation and the rate zones is the heightened public know-how that resulted. at the present time the manatee is a liked Florida icon, celebrated with license plates, Jimmy Buffett tunes, and cuddly crammed toys. Homely as they're, sea cows are cherished via travelers and natives alike. Idling my boat via a channel rather than racing complete throttle is a small sacrifice for the fun of sharing the water with those historic and interesting behemoths. In 1999, the yr that glib Mr. Hopping and the marine brands declared conflict, eighty two manatees have been killed by way of boaters—the such a lot ever. over the past 23 months, one hundred fifty extra have perished by way of propeller. Such unhappy injuries are inevitable. Sea cows cross anyplace they please, and it’s very unlikely to guard all of them the time. That doesn’t suggest that we must always cease making an attempt. regardless of what lobbyists say, saving a couple of extra manatees won’t endanger Florida’s large marine undefined. With enter from anglers and boaters, in addition to biologists, it shouldn’t be difficult to come back up with a smart long term plan. what percentage manatees is sufficient? What an insipid query. It’s extra applicable to invite simply what percentage Wade Hoppings we'd like. may possibly sixteen, 2004 Fishy story approximately trees Lobbyist, Wild Salmon President Bush has stumbled on an fascinating strategy to skate round the Endangered Species Act, the wildlife-protection legislations that has prompted such a lot of complications for his buddies in trees, oil, and real-estate improvement. In a flow that shocked citizens of the Pacific Northwest, the management has made up our minds to begin counting hatchery fish while deciding on even if particular types of untamed salmon should still stay at the federal endangered record. This suggestion didn’t come from biologists, lots of whom reflect on hatchery fry to be genetically not so good as wild salmon. Nor did the plan come from the administration’s personal appointed panel of specialists, whose findings have been pushed aside by means of the president’s males. really, it used to be a legal professional named Mark C. Rutzick who first dreamed up the belief of together with hatchery-bred salmon while counting the species. The cause used to be to spice up the stated fish inhabitants to such degrees that the species should be faraway from the endangered checklist and not be secure. on the time, Rutzick’s prize consumers have been trees businesses, frequently below fireplace for trashing streams and rivers. He led the struggle opposed to conservation principles meant to guard fish and animal habitats from the consequences of forestry operations. offered with such credentials, it’s no ask yourself that President Bush appointed Rutzick as a criminal adviser to the nationwide Marine Fisheries provider. Who larger than an agent of the logging to supervise the way forward for America’s 26 imperiled species of salmon?

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